Honesty post

I want you to know that when I blog, 

I am usually showing my best. 

The things I've accomplished. 

The things I've learnt. 

The things I'm proud of. 

I think that's ok (and normal for a optimist like me). I primarily write this blog to have my own memoir, and I would like to remember the crowns of my life and, after I have learnt from them, let the other moments sink away into the forgotten. I write this blog, secondly, to share my life journey with people I have once known, still know, or may one day know. And so this blog post is for you. 

A FEW THINGS YOU PROBABLY DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME:

• I very rarely have all the rooms in my house tidy.
• I am extremely shy. Over the years, I have learnt how to act non-shy, but inside I still feel embarrassed and terrified around people. I feel at ease talking to only my family and a very few close friends. 
• I am not good at disciplining my children. I wish I was more firm and confident with this.
• I both crave and reject help. 'Helping' is my language of love. It's the best way I know to show someone that I care, and when someone helps me unexpectedly, I am left smiling. But I often reject offers of help as I fear being a burden on other's lives. 
• I am a reasonable cook, but planning and cooking (and buying groceries) for the family mealtimes brings me undone! The kids eat noodles once a week! I know what I'd like to feed my kids but it is not what I'm feeding them. 
• I hate owning a business. The responsibility to look after other people's mortgages and families (as well as our own), and the responsibility for correcting other people's mistakes (as well as our own), is heavy.
• I don't make enough time for my friends.
• I have unrealistic expectations on myself (a problem of all mothers?). I want to be the best. At everything. And failure beats at the door weekly, daily, hourly.
• Sometimes I just want what I want. 

I hope you know that what you read in a person's 'house mum' blog is only some of the story. 

I hope you know that I am not a Christian because I am a good person (or a good person because I am a Christian, for that matter). 

I hope you know that I am everyday forgiven and thankful, which is why I write this blog.